From Kati: On Limits

The other day I opened up my Yogi tea bag at work and draped the paper tag over the lip of my cup. I love tea tag quotes, and I was excited to get my daily dose of optimism alongside my steaming mug of ginger brew. What I read, however, was thoroughly disappointing.

“You are unlimited,” my tea tag read. I laughed and might have actually replied aloud that I begged to differ.

I expected wisdom from my tea bag, but found what I was searching for the in the transcription of the 1912 meeting of the HomeopathicSociety of Ohio (wahoo history!). Dr. E. H. Pratt of Chicago contributed this poetic wisdom to a discussion of the importance of considering nervous disorders in surgical cases:

It is opposition that helps people. A bird cannot fly without the resistance of the air; a fish cannot swim without the opposition of the water; an engine cannot pull a train up grade without sand on the track; a violinist cannot make a sweet sound on his violin without rosin on his bow, and the things that we call trouble are the stuff out of which the steps of the Golden Stairs are made.

I am limited, and (how do I put this gently?) so are you.  Resistance and opposition lend movement, beauty, and meaning to our existence. Our bodies are limited, are brains are limited, our lives are limited, and this reality is at the beautiful heart of being human.

This weekend, Marissa and Christine will fight to overcome the resistance of their bodies, to see whether their limit lies after the 31.07 mile marker. Pushing our limits is an act of faith and hope, faith in our ability to leave the known world behind, and hope that what we find past the borders of comfort will be worth the struggle of the journey.

Some limits we push past alone; others we defy together. Take the fundraiser- certainly $10,000 was past the limit of what my immediate family could scrap together, and we know your pocketbooks certainly have their limits imposed by income, need, and the many other excellent causes you support. We set an optimistic goal of $10,000. I am so proud that the $12,010 that we’ve raised has been spread over 134 donors, rather than one donor with unlimited coffers.

Lymphedema is an unceasing reminder of my limitations. My skin itches, my bandages and garments chafe, and my tissue aches with the burden of unrelieved pressure. If I stay too long on my feet, small sores open up on my legs, releasing extra lymphatic fluid. My condition forces me to pause in the pursuit of my goals and put my legs up instead. While I’m resting, I often find myself enjoying the time it affords me to look back at how far I’ve made it and plan where I want to go next.

My lymphedema, my limitation, is both my rose and my thorn. Knowing my body and my life are limited spurs me to work for the change I want to see in the world, to overcome the challenges of today and get to work on tomorrow. 

There is such sweetness in limitation, too. My daily reminder of what I cannot do also reminds me of all the capabilities I took for granted when I thought I was unlimited. What a miracle a body is! To walk, to run, to laugh and jump—not everyone can do these things, and for all of us they are the gift of just a lifetime, too short a time to be taken for granted.

Perhaps best of all, knowing and embracing my limitations encourages me to lean on others for support. Christine's shoes bear donors' names to power her up the trail.As Marissa shared in her last post, thinking of someone she loves for every mile of a race turns the pressure of distance markers into welcome meditations on the people who share her joy and struggles. Like Dr. Pratt’s bird, we needed the resistance of the air to fly, but you have joined our flock and shared the work, and together we have covered more distance than we ever thought possible. Thank you for joining our team- for the love and for the message of hope. The limitations of lymphedema won’t disappear after this weekend, but thanks to your support, the search for a cure will press on. We won’t run from our obstacles but towards them, relishing the chance they provide us to grow, learn, love, and live fully.